One Of "Those" Moms

I have had many moments as a parent that I was "one of those moms." You probably know what I'm talking about. Today I had one of "those" moments. My 8 year old daughter was having her picture taken at cheerleading today. The photographer wasn't very good. She was posing the girls laying on their stomach in the grass for their individual photos. Laying in the grass you couldn't see their cheerleading uniform. The girls feet were crossed at their ankels and their legs were up in the air behind them, with the dirty soles of their shoes showing right towards the camera. There were extra large old fashioned pom pons layed out in front as props, so that it looked like the cheerleaders head was coming out of a pile of fluff.
I walked over and said that I didn't want my daughter's picture taken on her stomach. She can sit, kneel, or stand. Of course, my daughter got all whiney. I didn't want to pay money for a poorly posed picture. Before going to the event, I had taken a picture of my daughter posing in the backyard. It turned out excellent! I'm thinking my picture is going to be better than the "professional" one I paid for. We will see!

Censor My Words!

The kids were supposed to be cleaning their rooms today! I told my son, "I don't want to see toys shoved under your bed." He then pulled one side of his comforter down real low so that it was touching the floor. I guess that was one way I wasn't "going to see the toys shoved under his bed." I give him an A+ for being a smarty pants and I give myself a C- for the construction of my verbal orders to a 5 year old!

Today we took the kids to the "squirt" park. A park that is about 30 minutes away that has a section with lots of water features and fun fountains that kids can joyfully play in. While there, we heard the music and then saw an ice cream truck go bye on the major road. I started waving my arms widely for the driver to come to the park. My husband called me a major dork. Most likely the driver was on his way to the park anyway on his mission for ice cream sales. Besides, I hadn't gotten treats from an ice cream truck since I was a kid and my kids have never experienced this before. As soon as the ice cream truck approached us I cringed at the driver. Nasty looking guy and probably a pedophile. We enjoyed our treats, but now I need to have a talk with the kids and explain they are never to go by an ice cream truck without my husband or I with them and to never except treats from men in trucks unless we are with them. I also need to tell them never to flag down trucks like mommy did today!

Cheerleading!

My 8 year old daughter signed up for pop warner cheerleading. She had no idea what it was until I opened my mouth and told her about it. I loved cheering when I was a kid, so I thought it would be fun to have my kid do it. I obviously had loved it so much that the time commitment was no big deal back then. After the first meeting this past May, I realized that having my daughter on the team was going to involve many hours of practicing, lots of time in the car driving out of town to practices, and weekend games that will kill our weekends for 2 months. The most disturbing part was the strict rules. The worst one being, if you are over 5 minutes late your child has to run a lap. This "league rule" has my mom undies in a bunch. I can understand these rules for making high school students be responsible, but for pete's sake these are little kids. My daughter is 8 years old and not driving the car that gets her to practice. Oh, and if your child is late because of work, they let the rule slide. So I guess since I stay home with my kids I am expected to be perfect. With 4 kids, a baby that needs spontaneous feeding & diapering, sibling fights, last minute lost shoes, a dog that won't get inside when you have to leave, a 25 minute drive on country roads with no-passing zones, sometimes sharing the road with slow drivers or tractors, and 3 car seats to buckle, we are 99% running behind on time as it is. I just can't get calmed down about this rule.
Yesterday was the first day of practice. All summer my daughter was nervous and going back and forth with deciding if she was going to go through with being on the cheer team. She decided to try it. Of course she LOVED it, so we are in for the long haul. When I came home with the practice and game schedule my husband was kind of ticked off because of the commitment and the fact that our last few weekends of summer just went up in smoke. He even said, "I wish you had discussed this with me first." Hello- I did tell him, but he has selective hearing. Plus, when you sign up they do not give you the calendar of events up front. I didn't tell him yet that the parents have to do a certain amount of volunteering and that I signed him up to be on the chain gang at the first game!

Baptism Intruders

My mom disease causes me to plan everything perfectly, including our family events that must be staged exactly right. My baby P was baptised this past Sunday. Prior to church, we were informed by our pastors that our baptism was going to be combined with the joining of two new members of the church??????????????????????????? At the start of worship, our family of 6 all went up to the front, along with two women that were not related to us whatsoever. The baptism ceremony was nice, minus the added statements thrown in asking the other two ladies if they pledge their souls to our church. After my son's head was sprinkled, the pastors asked all of us to put our hands on our baby. The two women stood there awkwardly and said, "well we don't want to be in their family pictures." I am thinking, "I really don't want you in our family photos either. The pastors said, "oh no, that's alright, put your hands on the baby." It happens that one of the ladies is a librarian in the children's section of our local library. Someday when my son looks back at his baptism pictures he will say, "why was the library lady at my baptism?" No matter how perfectly I plan, something unexpected usually happens.

Dancing Mommy

My daughter L's dance recital was this past weekend. She was in two dances, ballet & jazz. Of course she did awesome and of course I thought her dances were the best in the show. I perfomed too. About 15 moms and I willingly signed up to perform in a "mom's dance." We practiced about 5 or 6 times and did Beyonce's Single Ladies- minus the leotards from the popular music video. I didn't tell any of the other moms that I had danced through my childhood, majored in dance in college, and used to own my own dance studio prior to kids. I just let everyone think I was really good. We got to pick what line we wanted to be in on stage. I picked front & center. If I was going to do this, I wanted everyone's eyes on me. I don't get this much attention anymore, ya know. Everyone did a great job and the audience loved it. All the moms knew all the steps, but I performed my heart out. I loved all the little comments I got from people that saw the show. I liked showing I had a buried talent, besides my mothering talent. I think I even turned my husband on for moment too!

Mom Disease

I am a stay-at-home mom of 4 kids. I have an 8 year old daughter (L), a 5 year old son (E), a 3 year old daughter (S), and a 3 month old son (P). I have diagnosed myself with mom disease a long time ago. These are my symptoms.

1. It isn't often I get out without kids with me.

2. I feel strange when I am around all adults and no kids.

3. I have a hard time finding topics of conversation that don't involve my kids.

4. I haven't dressed up in years. I can't remember the last time I wore a fancy dress or heels.

5. My body is ruined from 4 pregnancy's.

6. When I find clothes I like, I will go back and purchase it in every single color.

7. I am always on the go. No rest!

8. I have eyes in the back of my head.

9. I can predict my kids issues & problems before they even happen.

10. My kids have a lot more clothes them me.

11. When I go shopping, I will by bags of clothes for them, but nothing for me.

12. I drive a Honda Odyssey mini-van.

13. My house is never clean enough.

14. I can multi-task and do anything while holding a baby.

15. I hide and eat chocolate from my kids.

16. I pull in and out of my driveway a zillion times a day.

17. I get my kids names mixed up often.

18. I love talking about my kids births.

19. I'm already planning the next vacation before the current vacation has ended.

20. I exercise, but am always fighting the bulge.

21. Romance has left the building a long time ago.

22. Takes lots of pictures and home videos.

23. My house is overtaken by toys.

24. I am used to my kids making a scene wherever we go.

25. I would do anything for my family!

26. Most of my friends have kids around the same age as my kids.